Marco D on L.A.


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405 at Palms., originally uploaded by hereinvannuys.

Some good philosophy on living in LA from Marco D:

” To commemorate my 100th review….YES…damn right, I’ve reached the century mark, it’s my fucking 100th review, biatches(am I supposed to get a Yelp t-shirt?)…I’d pay homage and give 5 BIG YELP STARS to Los FuckinAngeles, my adopted home! Damn right this city deserves all the stars Yelp can give me, despite her shortcomings, faults and what-have-yous!

If you guys hate LA so much because of its sprawl, of its congestion, its traffic, its lack of history and character, then what the hell are you doing here still? Bitch, pack your bags and leave this city already! This is not a damn communist country, you are more than welcome to leave. And besides, do you think that LA loves you?

Oh, and don’t tell me that you’re here because of work, or you didn’t have any choice, boo hoo hoo… Then why the hell did you accept this job in the first place? You’re an idiot, that’s what you are. Or you can always divorce your partner, if you moved here because of that, and find a better ass somewhere.

Stop bashing the city you’re living in. It’s not just wrong, it’s rude, you uneducated motha-fuckin bitch, yes you, and you know who you are.

Yes, it may be superficial, yes, there are crimes, yes, there are those actor/waiter/model/director/posers and whatever you call them fakes or celebs…and so is every fucking major cities in America, or the world for that matter. If you can’t handle it, then fucking move to a prairie and build your farmhouse already…next thing you’ll know, you’ll be fucking your sheeps! Yeah, that’s what you call life.

And don’t even try to compare LA to New York, to San Francisco, to London, Paris, and Tokyo…same way you wouldn’t want to compare your asshole to mine. Okay, yours is bigger, I admit.

In the end, it’s not about the city, the geography, the climate or the people. It’s how you fucking live your life and make the most of what is in front of you, you got that?

Deep down, you know you’re hooked, LA’s got you. You’re just too fucking full of shit to admit it!

Peace the fuck out!”

Written by Marco D. on Yelp

9 thoughts on “Marco D on L.A.

  1. Check’s in the mail, Andrew. And furthermore, I’ve joined the Yelp revolution. Clicking my name should lead to my Yelp page — I’ve written two reviews so far, one of no other than the City of Angels.

    I also posted to the ant-SF thread on “We, Like Sheep,” pointing out the similarities I’ve noticed between SF and Portland.

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  2. I plan to spend some time reading all those Yelp comments a little later. I love posts like that.

    By the way, here I am, commenting in response to your “Who are you?” query on my blog last week. I found you through “We, Like Sheep’s” blogroll. Read you a couple times and decided to make you regular reading. I need more SoCal blogs to read… everything often feels so NYC/SF-centric (not that I don’t relate ‘spiritually’ more to those cities than I do to SoCal, but…I do live here).

    Speaking of which, this Yelp review of Los Angeles reminds me in many ways of “We, Like Sheep’s” post (with MANY comments) titled: “Why I Hate San Francisco.”

    Anyway… thanks for stopping in.

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  3. Very interesting thread there. Yelp seems really cool, too, and possibly addicting. I may well join!

    I love the December 25 commenter’s remark that “every great era needs a great villain and Los Angeles has played that villain to perfection.” Classic! That “villain” quality, which was present in my former home of New York City, is tragically missing here in Portland, Oregon. While it certainly has its charms, Portland puts so much emphasis on “nice” that it becomes annoying—even oppressive! A lot of people love it here, but I’m totally ready to move to LA at this point. I need sunnier skies, both figuratively and literally.

    I noticed that much of what was said about San Francisco could also be said about Portland—namely, how its denizens are practically religious in their LA bashing. Meanwhile, the Angelenos say, “Whatever!”

    I could also relate to what the July 12 poster said about LA: “[I]f you ARE superficial, it is way better to be openly so then to pretend to be deep and PC. THAT is the worst kind of person of all. And there are way too many of them in San Francisco.”

    Or Portland, for that matter. The whole we’re-so-progressive thing has gotten really old, especially when people are so proud of themselves that they won’t complain about the out-of-control condo development that’s rapidly blocking their view of Portland’s famed natural beauty. Or how people here fetishize the city’s “urban growth boundary,” even as old-growth trees within city limits are cut down to make way for development. Or how plenty of “progressive” locals will pay lip service to mass transit, even though they’d never consider using it themselves.

    Anyway, thanks for introducing me to Yelp. And for what it’s worth, here’s sending good wishes to your dad.

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  4. I could swear this rant is about Toronto, not LA. My ex-boyfriend used to complain to me about Toronto every fucking day. Well, he finally moved. Now he pays long-distance to bitch to me about Vancouver, BC.

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  5. I wish you’d put your Yelp badge back on. You had it on here for a while, but it disappeared when you redesigned.

    PS-Check out Fred C. (Fred Camino’s) Yelpcast. He developed an angle to combine the public transit lifestyle with interesting places to visit. All of his reviews have transit connections to get there, plus he has entered all Metro stations.

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  6. Andrew, it seems people bash LA like people bash Toronto. The most populous city in Canada, it has everything one needs to live a great life, yet I bitch about it. Often. This post reminds me to keep my mouth shut and enjoy the city.

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